Kanzen
by meseta
Summary: K&K Blanket Scenario..or is it? You choose your story, you decide! rated PG13 for being a little, uhm, suggestive..bordering on R


Kanzen 

A Blanket Scenario - Kaoru and Kenshin

_Why did I have to make this stupid trek?_ lamented Kaoru. _I could be at home_

a) _sleeping_

b) _taking a warm bath_

c) _relaxing_

d) _thinking about Kenshin_

She stole a glance at Kenshin, who was trudging slowly ahead of her, clearing a path from the thick snow. She sighed and thought _He's so_

a)_caring_

b)_sweet_

c)_sexy_

d) _like my slave_

She couldn't imagine a time when he was not there for her. She smiled in the freezing cold, and shivered yet again. They had been walking for a very long time, and it seemed like they were lost. "Kenshin, where are we?" she called out.

He turned around with a tired expression and said,

a) "I don't know, I think we're lost."

b) "Umm, we are approximately four hours away from help."

c) "We are somewhere in the middle of a snowstorm, Kaoru-dono."

d) Shut up bitch, don't you think we'd be out of here if I knew where we were?"

Kaoru shook her head. His answer was completely useless. She crossed her arms and kept on walking. Kenshin saw this. "Don't worry, Kaoru-dono, we'll be alright." Yet he hardly believed that himself. They were caught in a blizzard of snow, and no one would be actually able to find them. But they must not lose hope...

*~*~* 

"Kaoru-dono! Look, up ahead! cried out Kenshin in an excited voice. Kaoru raised her head and saw

a) a spot of black in the blinding whiteness of the snow.

b) a small building.

c) a dilapidated cabin.

d) A McDonalds stand.

"It's a cabin house, Kaoru-dono. Perhaps we will find someone who will shelter us there." Kenshin took her hand and pulled her faster towards the building, his strength renewed by the hope that they would survive. "Let's go, Kaoru!," he said. Kaoru only managed to smile weakly. "He's got 

a) a lotta strength."

b) a lotta chi."

c) such a caring heart!"

d) a *really* big erection..." wicked grin

Kenshin came to the door and knocked, but he received no answer. He knocked again. "Seems like it's empty." He tried turning the knob and found out the door was unlocked. He peered inside, and saw it was empty except for a small chest(ya know, the box kind), and some firewood. A picture of Kaoru and him

a)freezing to death

b)barely alive in the morning

c) making out on the floor

flashed to his mind. "Looks like it's empty, Kaoru-dono." he called out.

"That's even better, now we won't have angry owners coming after us for trespassing or anything. Let's go in." Kaoru strode inside and looked mighty displeased at seeing what was in it. "Why, it's almost empty! What kind of people own this place?"

Kenshin cringed. She could be so unrealistic at times.

Kaoru huffed. "Well, at least we can have a fire. I have matches with me." she paused and looked at the chest. "Let's see what we find in there." She walked over to it and opened it. She withdrew a(n)

a) scruffy and black

b) rich red velvet

c) teensy-weensy 

d) invisible

blanket. "Ah, something to keep me warm!" she exclaimed.

"Ano, Kaoru-dono, what about me?" whimpered Kenshin.

Kaoru 

a) smiled sweetly at

b) sneered at 

c) shook a finger at

d) stuck her tongue out at

Kenshin and said curtly," Well, you can

a) share with me."

b) get your fat butt moving and make the fire!"

c) sleep next to the fire."

d) get the hell out of here before I rip you to shreds for even *thinking* about snuggling up to me!"

Kenshin was taken aback at her response. He didn't really expect her to say that. He stood there blinking at her for a few moments until he was brought back to the real world by a box of matches thrown at him. Kaoru then looked at him and pointed to the fireplace. Kenshin understood. He immediately started making the fire. Kaoru gazed at him reverently, then violently shivered. Kenshin turned around and was stunned to find Kaoru quivering with cold.

"Kaoru-dono, you're cold!" he exclaimed. "We have to get you out of these clothes immediately!" He 

a)started methodically stripping her

b)ripped off her clothes savagely

c)gently pulled off her clothes

d)laughed maniacally and tore her clothes apart

Kaoru did not flinch. She wrapped herself in the blanket and curled up, shivering, and closed her eyes. Kenshin gazed at her and thought

a)_I hope she doesn't freeze_

b)_Is she unconscious, or asleep?_

c)_how can she look so peaceful?_

d)_damn, there go my hopes of using the blanket_

he sighed and went back to making the fire. When he had made a blazing flame, he leaned back and sat. he as also getting cold. His clothes were also soaking and there was a limit to how much a human could endure it. Kaoru opened her eyes and saw Kenshin in a miserable state. 

"Kenshin, " she said softly, " maybe you should take the blanket."

"No, Kaoru-dono. I don't require it."

"Baka! That small fire is not going to keep you warm with your wet clothes on!

a)strip and c'mere"

b)I'm not the only one who could freeze. 

c)You have to take your clothes off Kenshin. Slowly.

d)Why don't we pretend we're married?

Kenshin thought gravely for a moment. He was feeling cold, yes. There was nothing he wanted more than

a)Some good ol' fun with a naked Kaoru

b)To do what Kaoru was saying

c)To get home.

d)To be warm

So, he nodded to Kaoru. He began taking off his soaking wet clothes. His gi and hakama were already frozen, and his body heat had melted that ice, making cold-water seep even further within his clothing, chilling him to the bone. He stole a glance at Kaoru. She was looking at him with wide cobalt eyes, but still shivering. He knew that the flimsy blanket was not enough for her. The warmth of another person would probably keep her from dying of the cold. Still, he felt uncomfortable with the piercing gaze that Kaoru had on him. He took off him clothes quickly, revealing his

a)Slim yet muscular body

b)Black leather underwear, complete with matching bra

c)Body that was almost blue from cold

d)*censored*

that made him blush slightly. He then came over to Kaoru, and slipped underneath the blanket. Kaoru slimed at him.

"Don't worry, I don't mind."

He smiled back at her. He slipped one arm around her waist and held her firm. His other hand

a)massaged her gently to get her circulation going

b)squeezed her right breast

c)slithered towards her *censored*

d)pulled the blanket tightly around their shivering bodies

Kaoru snuggled up to his warm body, and to the relief of Kenshin, stopped shivering. Then she looked up at his face, framed by his russet bangs that gleamed in the flickering firelight. Absently, she tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear, her hand accidently making contact with his skin. Something like an electric current raced through her body, and she could not control her next action. She leaned nearer to Kenshin. Then she

a)started moaning that she wanted honey

b)spit in his face

c)started fucking him earnestly

d)placed a gentle and chaste kiss on his lips

Kenshin, too, closed his eyes and returned her favor. The situation was getting more and more heated when the door suddenly swung open

a)and the director said 'CUTT!!" No sex until Kaoru's older!'

b)Revealing Sano laughing so hard it brought tears to his eyes

c)Bringing a blast of cold air inside the cabin

d)And millions of photographers started clicking away.

_That_ brought Kenshin back to his senses. He scrambled off Kaoru.

"No, Kaoru!" he cried. "We shouldn't be doing this!"

"But Kenshin…."

Kenshin shook his head vigorously. "No, no. I had no right to do this. Forgive me for doing this. We got too carried away."

Kaoru gingerly put a hand on his shoulder. "Kenshin," she murmured softly, "We can't keep on making excuses any longer.

a)You know it's entirely your fault that you aren't carrying a condom."

b)I love you."

c)Your thing is too short to actually give me any pleasure so don't give me that crap."

d)You may be having sex with Sano, but you're not entirely gay."

Kenshin put his hand over hers. "You don't understand Kaoru. I love you. That's why I can't do this.'

"Kenshin. Please. I want to," she pleaded.

Kenshin sighed. 

a)Then he grinned and shouted 'Oh yeah!" and screwed Kaoru until morning and then found their way home. Once home, they declared their decision to get married. Exactly nine months after they got married, Kaoru gave birth to a little baby boy. And the three lived happily ever after.

b)He didn't want to be cold, but he didn't want Kaoru to rape him either. With no other way out, he got up, and took his sword. His eyes glowed amber as he slashed Kaoru to bloody pieces and let them sizzle in the fire. "No-one makes me want to die and go away with it!" he yelled to the roasting kaoru steaks as he bundled himself up in the blanket. The next morning, he woke up and was so horrified at what he had done that he plunged the still bloody sword into his abdomen and died a miserable death. Needless to say, they did not live happily ever after.

c)How could he explain to Kaoru that his feelings were reserved for a certain rooster-headed individual? He tried telling her about it it, but she refused to listen. Instead, she raped him there. After they were saved by their friends and got home, she continued raping him daily, and he could not tell his sweetheart Sano about it, so Kaoru and Kenshin lived happily ever after, each getting what they coveted.

d)He could not mar Kaoru's innocence. He lay down beside her but refused to let her do anything. Kaoru finally agreed to let him be. However, she was not to be disappointed for long because Kenshin asked her to marry his unworthy self. Her happiness knew no bounds as she tearfully said yes. They did not anything that night, but were satisfied with the fact that they would not have to wait for long.

The End.

A.N. Hope you all liked it! I know this isn't an original idea; I took a lot of inspiration from a fic called Ima Made Arigatou (check it out guys, it's fab), and the blanket scenario is an overdone one, but I really don't care. The characters are very OOC, but they have to be ne? Otherwise how could this be funny!  Please R&R people!

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